Hugs

I’m theorising that I’m in fact a boring person. Why then do people drag me out? Well people like talking about themselves and they’re interesting. And me being the busybody that I am. I like to listen. The stories I tell? Mostly involve other people. I’m practically. Nothing. I can’t swim or ride a bike or drive even when I’m of legal age. I can’t estimate correctly. I assume things and conveniently skip instructions which leads ro devastating results. I should be a gossip columnist or a talk show host. Or just plain busybody who can somehow feed herself with the little capabilities she has. Grace be shown.

I should just spend on stuff I really want and be happy with that

Again. Ugh

I hate defeat
I hate being the source of disappointment
I hate feeling powerless, worthless
Regret, feeling like if I could go back and change things
That I’d change everything.

That’s what you left me with
That guilt eats me to this day
Conscience tells me that There’s nothing I could have done but I don’t believe that
The beads of tears past midnight don’t allow me to.

I despise that you left
With such confidence and such self-fulfillment
Cause I don’t have what you do
I cannot hold up the same
I miss you.

While ever now and then I grieve
Longing for the sound of your voice telling me
Yet again that everything’s okay
That God himself is on your side
Even if everyone else isn’t.

I need you back
I need to know you’re well.

Despite seeing Mr eye candy, squealing under the rain, getting free food, spazzing at hawt athletes, eating chocolates, having my phone with me all day and seeing my bestie I still feel like poo.

Level of misery - 7 going on 8

Ted - How I Met Your Mother

Most of the time I’m fine. But the rest of it is just a whole pile of shit. I don’t like growing up here. Nothing ever happens in a good way and it just seems like I’m doomed to this lifestyle which I absolutely dread. There can’t be anything wrong with not being satisfactory right? Gah life! GAH

Contacts
Credit
Purple lipstick
Red heels
Far*East Movement Free Wired
Slouch bag
Gummy bears
Spare batt for my phone